The Cultured Seed

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Tick Tock Stupid Clock March 2, 2010

Filed under: Cultivator's Corner — theculturedseed @ 5:22 am
Tags: , , ,

Today I had the luxury of time…wait, did I say time? Hahahaaahhaa. Ok, really it was 15 minutes to steal away and watch a gorgeous sunset on Santa Monica beach solo. It was the first 15 minutes I’ve had to myself all week and I was like a kid in a candy store. No one should be this giddy about having one quarter of an hour of uninterrupted ME time all week. Mind you, this was after a business meeting before heading to the grocery store to then go home and clean the kitchen and cook dinner. So why did it feel sooooo good but at the same time soooo bad? In the face of the 12 million things I had to do, all I wanted to do was watch the sunset; but I couldn’t even be present enough to enjoy it.

My thoughts instantly snapped back to a recent article I read on MommyTracked titled News Flash: Working Moms Have 30 Hours of Leisure Time A Week! (I remember reading the title and thinking HA!!! what a crock.) I bet if I had 30 hours a week I would be enjoying this sunset right now, rather than thinking of all the crap that needs to be done! The MommyTracked article links through to another Washington Post article that grounds the statement in research done by some scientist who you know is NOT a woman or a mother, or that poppycock would never have come out of his mouth! Let’s get real here people, I am lucky to have 30 minutes to myself between my full time job as a mommy, wife and housekeeper, part time jobs bookkeeping and property managing, not to mention the volunteer work that I do and launching this new business!

After dismissing the notion of having 30 hours a week for myself, I began to wonder why not? Why does my time feel like it is no longer mine? And to make things worse, why is it that I feel guilty about making time to take care of myself? If we don’t preserve ourselves then who will? I have this growing feeling that things are amiss here my friends. This busy urban lifestyle that most of us choose to live is comparable to a daily beat down. Why do we work so hard on things that don’t really matter and refuse to make time for things that do, like our wellbeing or our families? I’m talking about mundane, time consuming non-fulfilling things like, say cleaning the house 24-7! I love a clean house, but for real, if I had my own sitcom it would be titled “Cleaning… The never ending storyyyy ahhh ahhh ahhh” (you 80’s kids feel me). I start a new job this week, and I know I can’t keep up the same pace, or something  or someone (ME) will suffer. One of my Feinds (best friends for over 20 years) sent me this blog post on Self Preservation and boy is it spot on. Being open to help is OK and taking care of ourselves is a-ok!

Today I made a choice to reclaim MY time; to be the captain of my schedule and hand choose every activity that I commit to. I am clear on that, but I am left with the how? I need to create a new practice in time management that will facilitate balancing my responsibilities with ME time. I know I am not the only one who feels like the clock is on fast forward most days – community I am talking to you now! Do you feel me? What do you super mama’s and papa’s do to fit in what needs to get done for daily survival + the things that make life swell, like our kiddos + ME time? Holler at me through the comment box below.

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4 Responses to “Tick Tock Stupid Clock”

  1. I LOVE the blog and topic. getting in ME time is so hard as a mommy single or partnered. As a single mommy i take advantage of the travel/training opportunities that my job offers, i also try to steal some time (like taking a quick nap in the car before picking up Obi if i get there “earlier”or at home if i get off work early)…I like to go to the beach on the weekend mornings and let him run around so i can relax and listen to the ocean and reconnect with nature… it gets complicated sometimes because like you Rebecca i work, volunteer, volunteer and do EVERYTHING else under the sun. So often ME time is not on the list of priorities but then when i realize my stress levels go up and my immunity goes down then i try to “get it in”. Another great way to get in ME time is to take a walk during lunch or go lie in the park…i love this i get to relax, meditate and rejuvenate!

    Peace and transformation :}i{:

  2. Giselle Bernard-Lopez Says:

    The beginning of a healthy home is a “Happy and healthy momma”! Although we are mothers and wives, we need not forget we were first women. Whenever you forget this fact, it is time to reassess, and reinvent. Make sure that you set aside scheduled “Me” time everyday or at least 3 times a week to do something for yourself. It might seem selfish to many, but for you, it may mean the key to keeping your Sanity. The reason why I state the aforementioned is because, as nurturers, our desire to put the needs of your significant other, and those of your child before our own, kicks in as an instinctual reaction. Constantly, that will prevent us from overriding that instinct, and proceeding to set that time aside, without feeling selfish or guilty.
    I say, “Love yourself enough to protect your mental health, this will ensure a better and happier home”

    By
    Auntie Giselle Bernard-Lopez

  3. Mrs. Iman Says:

    ME time? I call it WE time!

    I force my Sage Garden parents to chit chat with me at drop off and pick up. I ask them “what’s it like on the outside?” it helps me remember how to use “big words” and adult topics. You guys are the only adults I interact with… I gets a lil loopy sometimes!

    Honestly, I have not figured out a way to fit self into my life again. I always wanted children and when Greg agreed to give me Milan, I promised myself that I would do everything in my power to be the best and most present mother I could. I feel that I have my whole life before me and this time, this short chunk of time when my children are small and when the challenges are actually easy to work out, or just require a raised voice and assertive posture, I will TRY to count this as my “Me” time. My mother told me (as I whined about being tired and fat) “this is your retirement, these are your golden years, it only gets harder and the stakes only get higher”. Daunting huh…

    Some days, all I want is a cosmo and some stilettos but I quickly check myself because this is what I wanted! I wanted Greg, I wanted Milan and…poor Violet was the little pregnancy that could (*wink*)and once she was coming, I wanted her just as much. I miss my former self but this is much much better!

    • I feel you Miss Iman! I wouldn’t trade my mommy duties for anything in the world. But I know a happy mommy makes for a happy baby. So one of these days you need to break out those stilettos and we need to hit happy hour!


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