The Cultured Seed

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The Art of Graceful Surrender March 8, 2010

Filed under: Cultivator's Corner — theculturedseed @ 12:00 pm
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Arya and Mama in the Sleeping Position of Choice

From the day that Arya was born I knew that I had handed in my “boss-of-me” keys to a tiny little powerhouse. She had been on this planet for all of 24 hours and she made it known that she knew exactly what was up. We should have known what we were getting into from the first night home, when she screamed from 1-5 AM until the Grandma’s came to the rescue. Or even by her resistance to the bassinet, which meant that we had to switch off sleeping with her on our stomachs for about the first month. From the start, she has let us know exactly what she does and doesn’t want. No matter how we have tried to push or persuade otherwise, this kid has found ways to make her position be known and respected.

I hate to admit it, but we certainly underestimated her ability to verbalize these preferences. Her first communication damn near pitched me out of bed. I had been doing simple baby sign language with Arya from birth. She was 4 months old and we were just waking up for the day. I said, “Hello Arya” and her little hand rose up to answer back, “Hello Mama”. I nearly had a conniption! I know I was the one teaching her to sign, but I really didn’t expect her to talk so early, especially when the books tell you it shouldn’t be until 9 months. Looking back I don’t even know why I was surprised. Now, at 17 months, she can say just about anything you can say. She is even starting to put together 2-3 word sentences. Sometimes when she gets pissed I swear she is cussing me out. I hear “no no no ggaii feerrbb bbar nunu mama”, but she is really saying, “no no no, I don’t want my nunu mama”! Sheesh, attitude. The crazy thing is that I am not only seeing this with Arya but with her little cohorts as well, who are crazy advanced. (This generation of babies is really tripping me out.)

There were also times when I tried to push for things to operate differently… say with breastfeeding… but she still held her ground. Nursing is by far the most amazing bonding experience that you can have with your child, but let me be one to keep it real and say – it is a commitment! I saw all my other bottle-feeding mommy friends having nights out on the town or leaving for a weekend, but I was going nowhere. Not with the “I-don’t-do-bottles” leche monster on hand. I was ready to start weaning at 10 months, but Miss Fly was not having it. I kept whining about it and of course my hippy (but super smart) Mama kept saying “she will stop when she is ready”. That was not what I wanted to hear, but she was right – everything in due time.

My lesson for 2009 was exactly that. All things happen in divine time. At one point we have all been there, trying so hard to push the envelope in one direction or another. We pack all of our rationale into a neat little hand basket and set out to manipulate our world. Yet, despite our control freak antics, sometimes someone has another plan for us. Be it a higher power or just a little power-baby, we must learn to gracefully surrender to what is and continue to pray and be grateful for what will be.

Sigh. Release. Ashe.


7 Responses to “The Art of Graceful Surrender”

  1. Daniela Says:

    I LOVE this picture! Zoe slept in this position for practically the first year of her life. Great read too!!

  2. Taneya Says:

    (…have mercy)


  3. Tracey Says:

    HAHA @ Leche monster! Concise and to the point, love this post!

  4. Bookie Says:

    This is the TRUTH! Everything in their own time. You can maybe finesse things a little bit, but they have to decide that they are ready for the next step. Without that, there can be no true success.

  5. Sharon Bernard Says:

    I love reading your posts, Rebecca–and seeing you and Arya so closely connected. Thanks for the “tip-of-your-hat” tribute to your hippie mama. You know my mantra for trying times…”this too, shall pass.” Relying on your own intuition, intelligence and amazing resources to access information makes you and other young mothers real powerhouses. Trust yourself. Enjoy the miracle of it all. This moment will quickly pass. Don’t ignore the magical threads woven into the tapestry of your lives.
    Love, Mama

  6. Like The Dogg Says:

    That’s why I love babies, for all those couples that say their life is complacent, or even for single people who say they life is so repetitive, I would like to introduce you to the variable “Babies”. Babies either think your safe or not and how they know, we’ll never know. But the truth is they are he greatest because the can sense when a person needs them and even with their tiny little bodies they can show more heart than any adult out there. That’s why I love the moments they share with me, like a dance in the middle of the square.

  7. Abby Says:

    I love this babe! You are so amazing and I see the love in your eyes! Thanks for delivering more love to the world, in sooooo many ways!

    love you,

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